I have just finished my eight year journey with trying to do Independent film and I was unsure of what direction to go next. For awhile I was depressed, but not as much as I am now. I was having that lost feeling once the floor falls from under you. And this is much harder for me since fear of not having a plan overtakes me. It leaves me nothing to protect me from my father. He's bi-polar and this leaves me trapped at home for even longer. I struggled to come up with ideas. It took a couple weeks, but one night as I was watching "Psych" something got into my head. Maybe I could do a crime story with silly elements?
Later at work, as I cleaned the bathrooms, an idea came to me. I saw the images, and dialogues, of characters. One was a sassy Cuban and a thin blonde girl. It wasn't much. Yet I was unsure how I was going to do this. I heard the text as a novel, but it has been 10 years since I wrote anything. My writing spirit has been broken years ago by a bad writing group. This is why I don't trust groups that over analyze everything you write. That's a waste of everyone's time. But I came to think starting over with fiction writing would be worth a try. I was still writing at this point but with screenplays. I have given that up also. I search the internet, which is a beautiful thing. That how I found the "novel-writing-help" site. It was simple and everything started to click. It helped me a lot, and I can say that my writing is far better than it was 10 years ago. Novellas are a matter of taste so you may not like "Ransack" anyway.
I got to writing in April and every opened up as I started writing. This idea was "Ransack," which isn't the same idea I had as I was cleaning. And there's a different character, the sassy Cuban who is "Mazzy" got replaced by "Molly." What I wanted to do was introduce the thin blond. I needed to introduce a whole different story first. The original story is too complex for me to start with. Keeping the first story simple is all I had in mind since I've haven't written in a long time. "Ransack" came faster, and then "Masquerade." They both were the same idea, but they had to be chopped in half due to the size. A different plot also didn't help. Ransack is done now and is being proofread, and then in the beginning of November an idea came for Writing Month and this is becoming "Psychosis" which happens between "Ransack" and "Masquerade."
At this point I'm ready to get "Ransack" out there, but I have to make changes to it first. Editing is my lease favorite start of the process. It is due to Dyslexia. I'm not able to and must pay someone to do it. My family doesn't support what I'm doing and there's no way they will look at what I wrote. Even as a kid, my father always found errors with my story and when he found one it eventually added up to many more. But now, I seeking mature people and I hope people will like and relate to these stories. I think the edits will be done by December and the draft to "Psychosis" should nearly be done by that time.
I have to believe and keep working to make the dream happen. I will get better with time. We can't give up, but we must make way by working up to our dreams to the point where they become true. Mine is to be loved/ known by something I can do, and to make income that way I can have my own house, Freedom and the American Dream, I think?
